It’s been an ongoing debate for months, with each side pointing the finger at the other side. The issue? Verizon customers watching Netflix with slow playback speeds. The crux of the issue is that when streaming Netflix using Verizon, the speeds seem to be slower than normal causing buffering and a poor viewing experience.
Sure, you have a two year old and you think, jeez, what happened to this kid. You had an adorable little marshmallow running around gooble-gobbling, and then one day things changed and out of nowhere you had this irritable little creature — like he had sand in the elastic of his diaper always turning him surly. But you think: I only have a year of this. They call this the Terrible Twos, so I just have to weather the storm for one year. One. Year.
The only way through is out, you think.
You breathe a sigh of relief and lay your head down to sleep, assured that This Is Only Temporary.
This is the moment where I light a red road flare in a dark room and when the crimson glow illuminates the space, you see that monstrous toddlers are all around us. Crawling up the walls, hissing. Black cricket eyes hungry for your soul. Little claws tickety-click-clicking on wet stone. Squalling, shrieking, whining. SWARMING.
This is the moment where I tell you that I AM FROM YOUR FUTURE, and that the Terrible Twos are not — I repeat, not — the end. Oh, no, dear parent. I am here to warn you:
The Terrible Twos are only the beginning.
The Terrible Twos are just the chrysalis. The child’s body was just a preparation for an ancient, infernal monkey-demon slumbering in his tiny heart. Now the cocoon has been shed and your very own monkey-demon — who looks a little like you and who is now learning to communicate with its human keepers — is loose in your home.
The Terrible Twos?
These are the Terrible Threes. Er, the Therrible Threes? The Threatening, Thunderous, Thrashing Threes? Maybe the ‘That Used To Be A Human Child But Now It Is An Implacable Monkey-Demon Who Hungers For Chaos” Threes. WHATEVER. I’ve heard them called “Threenagers,” because this age is like a porthole window into the teenage years of the child, but taxonomically that’s false, since three-year-olds are monkey-demons and teenagers are mopey asshole-golems. Jesus, it’s like nobody ever read the D&D Monster Manual. Pssh. Pfft! HFFT.
Doesn’t matter. Point is, you’re going to need help.
I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned earlier, but I am sick to death of dystopian fiction. I read a surfeit of it as a teenager, and sometimes it seems like there’s very little besides paranormal romance and dystopias available in the YA section. So I’d pretty much sworn not to read any more. And yet. I read this despite the blurb describing it as a “chilling post-apocalyptic adventure” and I loved it.
Ripping a still-beating heart from the chest cavity that shelters it, as the blood washes all over you in a warm, red fountain. It runs in rivulets, like miniature water falls, down your face; some even winds its way toward your open mouth.
The penny-copper tastes coats your tongue before making its way down your throat. At first you double over, gaging for a moment before feelings of…
Nope, they don’t. And they may have experiences not indicative of yours. So what? What do you think everyone who isn’t like you has been experiencing all this time? That same feeling. And yet they still read Batman or watch the same television shows.
Confession time: I’m a jerky white dude. I’m clumsy in my assumptions and preconceived notions and — hey, I acknowledge my privilege. The privilege of privilege is being blinded by it and blind to it. You can walk around all day, whistling like a happy asshole, completely unaware of all the toxic douchebaggery splashing all around. We step on flowers we don’t even notice.
Sometimes, though, you have your eyes opened to it, and it’s a real holy-shit-we’re-in-some-kind-of-sexist-racist-Matrix moment. Rape culture doesn’t seem like a thing until someone starts pointing it out and then it’s a really awful Magic Eye painting, except instead of seeing a dolphin you’re seeing how we ask rape victims what they did to deserve getting raped. Once someone tells you, “That Terrible Thing is really an actual thing,” it’s ants, it’s dust, it’s fingerprints-on-glass. Didn’t notice it before, but now you realize it’s freaking everywhere.
And one of those “it’s freaking everywhere” moments is when you realize, oh, yeah, okay, our pop culture has been speaking very directly to heteronormative middle-class white-guy culture for a long time. Comics, television, novels, whatever. It’s time to share the storytelling. Time to pass the Talking Stick. Besides, maybe if we saw more diversity on the page, we might be willing to acknowledge the diversity outside our doors. I often say that the most valuable multitasking we can teach our kids and express in ourselves is to dual-wield Empathy and Logic, and if this helps in that, so be it. If this makes people more open? More aware? How is that possibly a bad thing?
“South Florida’s pine rockland, itself an endangered habitat with less than 2 percent remaining, hosts over 225 types of plants, 20 percent of which are exclusive to the area, and five of which are either threatened or endangered. And now, according to the Miami Herald, it’s about to boast a 158,000-square-foot Walmart, along with a L.A. Fitness, a Chik-fil-A, a Chili’s, and about 900 apartments. Of the 88 acres sold to a developer by the University of Miami, a mere 40 will be set aside for a preserve.”—Walmart is about to level an entire forest. (via wilwheaton)
Comcast rep: “I’m trying to help you.” Customer Ryan Block: “You can help us by disconnecting our service.” Uh-huh.
The other day, tech guy Ryan Block called Comcast, the largest cable provider in the U.S., with a reasonable request to cancel his service—something plenty of people do every day.
What he got instead was a nightmare of a phone call from a Comcast service rep who, instead of simply disconnecting his service and telling him to have a nice day, stubbornly insisted on asking the same myopic questions, over and over again for at least 18 minutes straight.
“The FCC’s controversial plans for a new version of net neutrality are still open for public comment for a few more days, and Chairman Tom Wheeler — continuing to fight charges that he may be a dingo — says it’s already received over 647,000 comments so far. The 60 day period for public comment runs out on the 15th though, so if you want your voice to be heard then about fast lanes, Title II or anything else, then now is the time.”—FCC’s net neutrality inbox is already stuffed with 647k messages, get yours in by Tuesday (via wilwheaton)
As long as Congress will not increase wages for workers, I will go and talk to every business in America if I have to. There’s no denying a simple truth: America deserves a raise, and if you work full-time in this country, you shouldn’t live in poverty. That’s something that we all believe.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting. There are a number of Republicans, including a number in the Texas delegation, who are mad at me for taking these actions. They actually plan to sue me. Now, I don’t know which things they find most offensive — me helping to create jobs, or me raising wages, or me easing the student loan burdens, or me making sure women can find out whether they’re getting paid the same as men for doing the same job. I don’t know which of these actions really bug them.
The truth is, even with all the actions I’ve taken this year, I’m issuing executive orders at the lowest rate in more than 100 years. So it’s not clear how it is that Republicans didn’t seem to mind when President Bush took more executive actions than I did. Maybe it’s just me they don’t like. I don’t know. Maybe there’s some principle out there that I haven’t discerned, that I haven’t figure out. You hear some of them — “sue him,” “impeach him.” Really? Really? For what? You’re going to sue me for doing my job? Okay.
I mean, think about that. You’re going to use taxpayer money to sue me for doing my job — while you don’t do your job.
Q:A major concern in A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones is power. Almost everybody – except maybe Daenerys, across the waters with her dragons – wields power badly.
George R.R. Martin:Ruling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper. We look at real history and it's not that simple. Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn't ask the question: What was Aragorn's tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren't gone – they're in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles? In real life, real-life kings had real-life problems to deal with. Just being a good guy was not the answer. You had to make hard, hard decisions. Sometimes what seemed to be a good decision turned around and bit you in the ass; it was the law of unintended consequences. I've tried to get at some of these in my books. My people who are trying to rule don't have an easy time of it. Just having good intentions doesn't make you a wise king.
“That’s the funny thing about being poor. Everyone has an opinion on it, and everyone feels entitled to share. That was especially true about my husband’s Mercedes. Over and over again, people asked why we kept that car, offering to sell it in their yards or on the Internet for us.
“You can’t be that bad off,” a distant relative said, after inviting himself over for lunch. “You still got that baby in all its glory.”
Sometimes, it was more direct. All from a place of love, of course. “Sell the Mercedes,” a friend said to me. “He doesn’t get to keep his toys now.”
Because I’ve actually seen people make arguments against poor people keeping tools - since that is exactly what this is. If you have a paid off car, you KEEP it, because it works and gives you a survival tool you will no longer have if you get rid of it. Then what? Buses? Not THAT reliable, not at all flexible if you have groceries to carry, or are disabled and doing anything but moving your body to and fro. Cheaper car? That breaks down all the time and sucks away money you don’t have? Maybe it’s even older and more of a gas guzzler. Walking? Not if you have kids you need to bring with you. Thinking the poor don’t “deserve” or that they should “suffer” for their being poor is such complete bullshit. (via jadegordon)
The news is officially out - Strange Chemistry, my publisher, is no more. So there is no way that Micah Grey #3, the final installment after Pantomime & Shadowplay, can be released that way. Though in the interests of honesty, they’d already declined to offer on the third book earlier this year…
“With the exception of that time when I got The Great Brooklyn Stomach Bug of 2013 and spent three straight days watching Downton Abbey on my bathroom floor, I have not gone a single day in New York without a man yelling at me, rubbing up against me, making lewd gestures in my direction, providing unsolicited commentary on my body, or badgering me for my contact information.
"But that sounds crazy!" the dudes protest. And it is! Until you talk to literally any woman ever and they tell you the exact same thing.
Every mundane choice you make, from the length of your skirt to the opacity of your tights to the volume of your iPod to the sturdiness of your jewelry, must be considered carefully and yet doesn’t matter at all. If I had to run in these shoes, could I? If someone grabbed my ponytail or my necklace, could I shake him off? Does this color make me look like I want to be approached? And off come the never-worn stilettos and down comes the hair, and all of a sudden you’re wearing an outfit that you hate, because you are just too fucking tired to deal with it today…and some asshole walks up to you on the train platform and starts making kissy noises in your ear anyway.
I just finished The Cormorant the other day and wanted to give you kudos on the great work as usual! I was recently diagnosed with combined type ADHD and that makes it difficult for me to read, but I have always been able to devour your books so I wanted to thank you for producing work that truly keeps me engaged and makes me enjoy the act of reading. Your prose is fantastic and if you know any other writers with a similar style I would love to know. Thanks again and have a great day! :)