chuck wendig. penmonkey

A Survival Kit For Your Very Own 3-Year-Old Monkey-Demon

“Toddlers are fifty percent supergenius and fifty percent drunken orangutan — sometimes they’re brilliant little robots, other times they’re the family Roomba that someone spilled wine on last year and it hasn’t worked right since. The problem is: you don’t know which version you’re getting, so it’s nearly impossible to prepare. Will you get the version that sprints into the room and runs face-first into a chair? Will you get the toddler who knows how to design a catapult to fling herself to the top level of the pantry where she can hunker down and eat all your M&Ms while you roam the house looking for her? You have to approach each task, each situation, each room by recognizing that it will be under attack by either a) a flailing, pee-soaked cokehead or b) a tiny version of Neil DeGrasse Tyson. We underestimate and overestimate toddlers in equal measure.”

—   25 More Things You Should Know About Toddlers [terribleminds.com]

Transmissions From Toddler-Town: “Just A Ride.”

(music by Jem: “Just A Ride”)